Fuck Jeevi

Jeevi is a gay bastard. Jeevi is a moron. Jeevi is ...Jeevi!

This guy is incredibly funny. No, really. I wrote about this guy sometime back. That post shows in close detail how he goes about writing a review. So again, here is another analysis post.

Last time i said that he knows a lot of trivia. I beg to differ. Even his trivia is screwed up. If you read his review about A history ofviolence [here], you will see this :
"..This film reminded me of the Telugu film Samarasimha Reddy..".
He could not find any other movie that he could compare to. He even had a choice of Basha, but no - he had to pick this one.

Okay, lets move on. He gives 'In pursuit of Happiness' an entertainment quotient of 30%. Ok, now I am confused. What exactly is 'Entertainment Quotient' ? So this guy, Jeevi, is not only gay but also a dumbass.

Lets see.. what else do we have..oh yeah - 300. Lets check this out :

The story of the film is about how Spartans fought to defend their freedom and democracy by using their territorial knowledge as the strength and employing various fighting strategies

Muhahahahahaaa. This guy is funny, is he not?

Ok, next is Apocalypto :

Just like any commercial film, this film too has protagonist running for days continuously, to escape from merchant, even while suffering from severe wounds.

Now what do i tell you about this? He does not have an issue when a "Fat" Telugu 'hero' runs around with 2 bullets in his ass for half of the movie. But he has issues here. No issues if another "Short" & "Fat" 'hero' fights with a 100 people (like in the matrix). But he has issues here.
Ok some more from the same review :

I don’t care about Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitic statements and the complaints about excessive violence.

Thats because he does not know what the anti-semitic means ! DUMBASS JEEVI! And compare the violence part of it with his review for 300 where he says:

The quotient of violence is pretty high

A reviewer having different opinions about the same thing. Hmm...interesting.

Lets see - what else do we have - man i like doing this. Check this out from 'The Butterfly Effect'. He did not understand the movie. (the entertainment quotient of 10% explains that).
But check this out from his review :

It is a dark film. Hence the entertainment quotient is almost zero.

Ooh okay, so thats what 'entertainment quotient' is..now i get it.
So guys,

if dark:
'entertainment quotient' = low
if bright:
'entertainment quotient' = high

So now we get it! I have no words for Jeevi.

Ok, next lets see how little Jeevi reacts to Sex. Here is a snip from 'A History of Violence':

There are a couple of sex scenes in the film. The second one is totally irrelevant.

OMG! Jeevi IS gay!
Again, Mr.Hypocrite think that was irrelevant. Fine. Please explain how relevant are various Soft-porn scenes in regular Telugu feature films. Its ok to see some actress with little or no clothes in a 'Family Entertainer' but a Sex scene in an English movie is irrelevant. CRAPTASTIC!.
So now you understand why I say Jeevi is gay? Cos he does not like Sex scenes!

Why do I do this? Here's why -
Jeevi, with some more effort, you will be just right to review some telugu movies. Not all movies. I can go on writing like this, but I dont want to waste my time. I already spent 5 minutes on this. But thats ok, cos I am in my bathroom...

Cheers!

A List of movie sites online

http://requestacinema.blogspot.com/
http://cinetalkies.blogspot.com/
http://idlemovies.blogspot.com/
http://www.songs-links.blogspot.com/
http://www.manacinemalu.com/

Movies 2007

Out of the movies I have seen in 2007, here is a list that I liked (in no particular order)

2007 Releases
1. Ratatouille - **Top pick for 2007
2. Live Free or Die hard - Being a die hard 'Die-Hard' fan, this has to go in.
3. Zodiac
4. 3:10 to Yuma
5. Michael Clayton
6. The Bourne Ultimatum
7. 300
8. Spiderman- III
9. 28 Weeks Later
10. Wild Hogs
11. Fearless

I really wanted to see 'Rescue Dawn' but I missed it.

Others : Movies which I (think) saw in 2007, but were made earlier.
1. Meet John Doe [1941]
2. Three Days of The Condor [1975]
3. Harsh Times [2006] ** Loved Bale's acting in this one. Highly recommended.
4. The Machinist [2004] ** Again, for Bale's commitment.
5. A River Runs Through It [1992]
6. Fearless [1993]
7. Casino Royale [2006] ** Loved the movie, the book and loved watching 'the blunt instrument' change to 007.
8. Tanner / Tanner on Tanner [TV series]

..more to add, well - there are still some days for the year to end..

Quotes
"So you want me to be half-monk, half-hitman." - 007 to M in Casino Royale
"Spartans, give them nothing! But take from them... EVERYTHING!" - Leonidas in 300


Etc
2007 made me a Christian Bale Fan - especially after watching Harsh Times and The Machinist. Brilliant acting. I think he is the best actor in the current generation of actors.

Guru

Movie wise: [3/5]
Commercially : i really dont care
Songs : [3/5]
Why watch? - goes good with popcorn!

I dont follow the hype and 'wait' for movies so my expectations are never elevated. Guru is a decent movie. Only in one song (Jodi) i suddenly felt a drag in the movie. Otherwise its allright.
The deal with Guru is that its a big story cut short. Too much to tell in a short time. So, many details that you would have wanted would be avoided. Makes sence - to handle time.
One thing that was handled well was the technical details of the 'business'. If he would have gone into a lot of detail, it would have sounded like Corporate, where so many 'technical business details' were unnecessary for the audience.
In many places, Guru was like nayakudu. You must have felt it too.
The only thing i had to put up with was Aishwarya. She should quit movies. She should'nt have come to movies in the first place. Abhishek sounded and looked like Amitabh toward the end in the court scene. I was surprised and kind of liked it. Such simmilarity! Afterall they are father and son.
On the whole, the movie was even. Atleast it didnt earn a 'bad' review from me.

Overall : Among the chaos of crap, this movie is worth a watch

With that said, if you want to know how I felt, read on.

Mani Ratnam has this idiosyncrasy of doing the same thing again and again. Till he does it again.
His first genre started with Roja then went on with Bombay,Dil Se till he finally buried it with Amrutha. Overkill dude! How do you manage to make movies with the same theme again and again? Anyway, then he started Yuva. Just when you thought he was getting sober, he makes Guru. What next? Women rights?
The screenplay is pretty standard through most of his movies. I have noticed that his movies have a very usual style of conversation between the hero and the bad folks. They speak with a smile on their face but basically say what they have to. (Example, a scene in Yuva where Mike talks to the minister about his scholarhip - or - when guru talks to Nanaji and is assistant about unmasking him etc). I think given a theme and the charecters, I can do some basic reverse engineering and guess how he would make the movie. He has become too obvious.
Like many directors and writers, he still is not able to get out of the excitement of watching The Godfather. These guys actually do pretty good job. I think they will come out with a book soon - "101 ways to remake The Godfather" (also read- "101 ways to fuck up The Godfather")

I'll have a full blog soon on this issue and more on Mani ratnam and my favorite topic - "Why Ram Gopal Verma is a Bozo"

A review on (idlebrain.com) Jeevi's reviews

Was just crawling through some movie pages and landed on a review of V for Vendetta by Jeevi. Thats right, the idlebrain.com jeevi. If you are reading on, I assume you have seen V for Vendetta.

Now, V for V is not a simple plot. The movie is more than just a movie. Its based on a graphic novel, about V and his efforts to uproot a totalitarian state. Implied or otherwise, it was talking about issues like hierarchy and Anarchy indirectly. Now, if you know about sociology then it would appeal more to you. The movie is definitely not about SFX.

My Review on JEEVI's reviews

I was surprised to see this review (http://www.jeevimovie.com/dvd-vforvendetta.html). This guy, JEEVI, seemed popular among some circles about movie reviews and thats what idlebrain.com about. Reviews.

"I liked the basic plot of the film. It is all about what is an idea. The protagonist says that idea has no shape. That is the reason why he chooses to be masked and prefers to be known to the men only as V. The director handles the film very deftly by connecting the past of V with the future of V in the most logical way"

Now this asshole, JEEVI, has no clue what it is all about. To him, the movie is about this guy having no name and how well the 'director' connected V's past with his future. Truly amazing!!
Plus, I thought that the screenwriters do that job. This guy doesnt know how films are made in the first place. Fuck! I cant believe people actually read this guy's reviews.

and then, he goes on with this - "The best thing about this film are the great dialogues"

To him, the best part is the dialouge. Well, then i thought maybe this guy had some nice picks from the film. But look what this dork picks :

1. Artists create the lies to tell the truth. Politicians tell the lies to bury the truth.
2. Creedy: Why don’t you die? (After firing innumerous rounds of ammo on V) V: Beneath this mask, there is no flesh. There are ideas. Ideas are bulletproof.
3. Doc: Are you going to kill me? V: I killed you 10 minutes ago (then shows the syringe using which he injected virus in her)

Surprised that you couldnt find 'people should not be afraid of the governments, but governments should be afraid of their people' ? Thats because this sorry SOB does not know how to write reviews.
Then comes the funniest part - the 'tailpiece'.

"Tailpiece: V hijacks a TV station and plays a prerecorded video that exposes the government and reveals his identity. A similar scene is there in Shankar’s Bharateeyudu where Kamal Hassan addresses the entire AP by hijacking a popular TV channel"

Sorry Jeevi, V does not 'reveal his identity' anywhere. Also, 'expose the government' ? You dork, what does he 'expose' about the government?. He takes responsibility for blasting the Old Bailey.
This SOB, jeevi, doesnt know that V for Vendetta comics came out from 1982 -88. V for V and bharateeyudu...Truly amazing work,Jeevi. I dont understand how you pull of writing reviews inspite the fact that you dont know how to watch a film! Fuck - you dont know what the gunpowder treason is, what it meant to V and his ideology and you write a review about the movie? Bravo!!
The best part is his rating for V for Vendetta - which is 4/5 (which translates - rent this DVD) and entertainment quotient = 50% !! Amazing work you gay bastard.

No wonder you would find a rating like 4/5 in idlebrain.com for a movie that sucks absolutely; Cos the guy who writes them is a total asshole who does not understand what movies are.
All these guys only know from which movie some new movie is adapted, etc etc. These guys know a lot of trivia and think that they know how to write reviews.

Jeevi, trivia is NOT review.
Jeevi, quit writing reviews. Stop bullshitting yourself. Jeevi, stop thinking that you know how to write reviews. You dont.

SainiKUDU

Movie wise: [1.5/5]
Commercially : [2/5]
Songs : [3/5] Not bad
Value for money: mixed feeling. loss ultimately.
How long was the movie : 6-8 hours
Why watch? - to understand that okkadu team can only do it once - Okkadu.

Story:
Intended : Medical student fighting against corrpution.
Actual : Nothing near to intended.

This movie is a clear case in which the screenwriter fucked it all up. The director shares the award to fuck up the movie also. If you want to see how a bad screenplay destroys a movie, this is it. Its all in patches. Poor casting. Did the movie have a casting team at all?
SFX: Yes, lots of it - but for what? You would appreciate SFX if it elevates the overall quality of the movie. This movie, again, is an example of inappropriate,pointless SFX usage. Even without it, it would not have made a bit fo difference. Money squandered.
Songs were mis-timed, poorly directed. Felt sad for the limited imagination of the team in making the video for songs.
Imagine 'Orugalluke pilla' on a train or something. Come on i bet you knew that song was 'inspired' from Dil-se's chaiyya chaiyya.

It would have been a serious theme , but they made it into a comic by portraying the Villan as a cartoon. No need of a heroine in this one - but again, you guys always wanted heroines, else you would not watch movies kada.
I wish there was Jr.NTR in this movie. Atlest then i would have had some sadictic enjoyment ; but i was deprived of that little joy too.
Trisha was again mis-casted bigitme. I am bored of watching her again as 'the innocent girl'.

Overall : disappointement ,crap

Don

Movie wise: [0.5/5]
Commercially : [3/5] (why would you need this at all? but still..) S
Songs : [0.75/5] Cannot listen to each track for more than a few seconds
Value for money: loss. a McChicken would be a better investment
How long was the movie : 8-10Hours
Why watch? - when you make the mistake of thinking that faran akhtar makes good movies

Story:
Old Don - Old climax + new climax = new don
running length of new climax is 5mins. New climax = Don survives..

Artists Performance: Shah rukh Khan- normal. Very normal. He's getting old.

Songs - suck bigtime. Not even worth a CD release. Shankar-eshan-Loy should have been given a chance to do some music.

Positives: Again, the photography was good. Not just this movie, the average photography quality has improved.

Negatives: Don.

Stalin

Movie wise: [0.5/5]
Commercially : [3/5] (why would you need this at all? but still..)
Songs : [0.25/5]
Why watch? - worth viewing for sadistic pleasure.

Story:
The story is a one liner. The protagonist asks people to help 3 other people and it goes on.
Not worth dragging for 3 hours.

Artists Performance:
Chiranjeevi - It is time he takes a gap of 20 years from movies. He is overly horizontally disproportionate, too old for the role (maybe he should have been the brother/father of the hero). He is slowly picking threads of rajnikanth in dances. Soon he will take on Krishna.

Others - Not worth talking about. But i want to point that Prakash Raj,as usual, did a good job. He is a potential candidate for my movie. Note the use of 'potential'.

Songs - suck bigtime. Not even worth a CD release. Mani sharma tries to do original music here.

Screenplay - The screenwriter lost it right after the begining titles.

Direction [,etc] - He should retire from movies. He will be fit for TV serials with a little effort.

Positives: The photography, particularly in 2 scenes, was impressive. The war was shown very poorly, but photography is good. The second one is a night shot car chase sequence.

Negatives: Everything else.