Matrimony Day

So its a regular day, and I check my mail and find this in my inbox:

It turns out that a site - Bharatmatrimony.com declared that April 14th is Matrimony Day. Amazing. Now, what is Matrimony Day, you must be wondering.

I dont know either. Infact, what can be nice about it? But thats a different story. Anyway, it seems there is a website started by the same company to promote the day - www.matrimonyday.org. Go there, its a resourceful site if you are a retard.

There is a 'Views and opinions' page on the site. I took a look, hoping that I would understand the joy of the lame day. Wait. This site is infested with retards:

I felt happy. You know, like you have this immense power to tell good from evil. These people clearly need to celebrate a 'matrimony day'.

So how do you celebrate this day? Do you celebrate it every year ? Or do you celebrate it only the years when you are single and looking for a partner? How is this day different from others to have an 'enjoyable' day together? We dont yet know.

There are some more fun pages on the site which might appeal to the retard in us. Check this page where you can 'Vote for the Best couple'. Now, why the fuck would anyone want to do that? Vote for a best couple? People *are* fucked.

India's new Women's quota bill. Finally!

In a very welcoming and bold move, the Upper house passed the Women's quota bill. Almost unanimously. (186-1). The last time I read about the Rajya sabha, it used to have 250 members. Maybe there are 187 now. Anyway, this was a really awesome news.

Now, we can see more Women representing people in the State and National Legislature. How awesome is that. It took us 60+ years to truly realize that Women should be included in legislature also.

But I was disappointed by the quota's limit. Why only 33%? Aren't Women 50% by gender?
Unless.. 'Woman' is considered as a new ..wait for it.. caste? Oh snap! Thats it! Its a new caste! And I thought they were talking about the gender.

The caste needs you to (not limited to) :

• Be a wife of an existing Politician
• or be associated with an existing Politician
• or come from a really rich family
• or be rich (read Celebrities)
• or be Infamous

or you could be a Woman with Integrity, having real aspirations to help our your community to your fullest, but *sigh*, they dont make them anymore.. (they dont make such men either). Besides, you dont qualify if you are this. Especially if you are educated.

Movies of 2009

I noticed that i didnt write about the best movies of 2008. I will write about it later.
But here are my picks from 2009. Again, in no particular order.

1. Watchmen, The Motion Comic, The Black Freighter
2. The Hurt Locker
3. The Road
4. Zombieland
5. Hangover
6. Star-Trek
7. Taken
8. Up
9. Inglorious Basterds

I havent seen many movies this year. But of the few I saw, these made it into the list.

The Downfall of Agile Hitler

Slumdogs Gone Wild

To get maximum pleasure of this post, please, see this link:



There is so much of drama thats going on. Fuck them all.
Truth is, the mother wants custody cos of money. Father wants to sell her for money. NO one really cares about that girl. Atleast, I dont. This whole thing feels like after-market 'merchandize'. You know, like X-Men toys etc.
I can tell you one thing: these kids will not have a normal life. They will have a fucked up, confused life. And again, I dont care!
Children these days are not that dumb - anyone can act. No big deal. These are nothing special.

And all this for a movie that is like a shit-taco? Craptastic!

Recommended reading

I really recommend reading this paper from the Journal of personality and social psychology, 1999.

http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp7761121.pdf

"People tend to hold overly favorable views of their abilities in many social and intellectual domains. The authors suggest that this overestimation occurs, in part, because people who are unskilled in these domains suffer a dual burden: Not only do these people reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the metacognitive ability to realize it."

People _are_ stupid !

So I am on gtalk and see this status message for someone in my list "..dancing is so much fun..'
Here is a chat conversation I had with that person about their 'dancing':

me: you dancing?
person: yes
me: nice, where?
person: {someplace}
me: which style?
person: for mauja hi mauja
me: is that a style? indian? western?
person: film song, see online jab we met movie
me: so they teach only this one song?
person: yes

person is busy. You may be interrupting.

craptastic, eh?

Article about Mumbai Slums by a Chinese traveller

This is translated from http://blog.qq.com/qzone/622007783/1231300041.htm.

Dont watch Sasirekha Parinayam

So what if its a KrishnaVamshi movie? Fuck it. And, fuck him too.
You still want to watch this movie, go ahead. After you do, come back to this page and leave a comment.
I am sick of watching a Black-&-White-Movie's song during initial credits. Stop it. It is annoying. It just prepares me - to contrast that with the shit you're going to show next. So, please stop it.
Just like you dont want a god's photo on the titles of a pron movie... So please just stop it.

Oh yeah, btw - please, dont fuck jeevi. He's just not worth it. Let him Fuck himself. Ugly, bald, no good goat fucker.

Fuck me for even watching the first 15 mins of this movie. I could'nt watch it after that. So, there is no review.

Note to Tarun & Genelia: Reading the script before signing up for a movie might be a good idea next time. Usually, a script is about 120-150 pages (for a 2 hr movie). So, if you're handed a flyer for a script, ask for the real script. There is no point acting when no one's going to watch your retard movies.

Note to Jeevi:
Dear Gay Jeevi,
No, the music for this movie is not 'alright'. It sucks - just like you. Also, you asshole, what is a 'journey flick'? I was unaware of such genre of movies.

Ram Jethmalani slams shameless IBNLive as "Bullshit"

• "i will not allow the press to control my life!"
• "all this bullshit will not convince me at all! all this conscience is not my conscience!"
• "it is none of your business!"
• "it is wrong of me to discuss it with you! it is wrong of you to ask me to discuss it with you!"
• "now that is very stupid and that is a big lie!"
• "i don't have to convince myself. i am only convinced that the man is entitled to a fair trial. he is entitled to a good lawyer"
• "the press is fighting for injustice!"

I Love Orkut!

Why not? It provides me with so much entertainment!
Where else can you find shit like this?

wait for the boy who will do anything to be ur everything ;)

So i broadly classify samples into 2 categories:

Category#1 - Dumb Romance for no reason
This is my favorite category. These people have no clue what they are. Stupid, Dumb people.

"long drive.... soft music..... lot of candles many suprises............"
"wait for the boy who will do anything to be ur everything ;)"

These people are victims of television and movies - because they have been taught throughout their life (thanks to movies) that "there is someone special for you", "my dream guy/girl will come", etc.
Get your head examined.
How do you do it? Do you sit in your balcony waiting for that someone? And would he use a rope to get to your balcony and kneel down and kiss you ? lol! Craptastic! Unreal morons!
These people live in a parallel world that is all flowers, soft music, candles, and full of unrealism.

Category#2 - Got dumped
Now, these people have to ( for some reason ), show the world that they are in a bad phase and the weight of the whole world is on their shoulders. It is easy to spot such people. Just click blindly 5-10 times, and you will land on a profile which is in this state. You would typically see lines like:

"Pain isn't really that bad when its the only thing you've ever felt......"

Now we know that this dude was dumped. Way to go man!

"U think I'd crumble, U think I'd lay down n die..Oh no, not I.. I will survive, as long as i know how to luv, I know I will stay alive..."

Another looser, who wants to tell the world that she is in great pain. Dumbass. Infact, this person is trying to be extra smart. This is not even her own line (song). So, its ok to plagiarize.
etc etc
Amazing stupid people. Wish someone told them that " STFU, big deal, you are not romeo+juliet. Shit happens".

So remember - Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Testimonials
Next thing in my list - Testimonials. WTF?! I am amazed at how people write testimonials!
An orkut testimonial feels like a load of bullshit to keep good PR with people.
Not one place have I seen one which goes like this :

XYZ is a stupid, moron who cant do anything but change photos on orkut. He sucks at studies, smokes and drinks. He does not know what to do in life like most others, and thinks he looks good and knows "how to roll". I am tired of putting up with his crap and his bad attitude to things. He thinks he knows about movies just because he knows the names of a few directors. His music sucks just as him and he thinks Rap is music. Infact, he does not understand a single line of what he listens to. He is to complete wannabe and has no idea why he needs a $2000 laptop from Australia. He is a caste biased bastard and an ardent fan of ...etc

Most of the testimonials sound like epitaphs. Fuck!

Testimonials for girls
Girls get some testimonials from guys like :

At night,look at the sky,
If you see a falling Star,
Don“t wonder why,
just make a wish,
Trust me it will come true,
Bcoz i did it and

I FOUND YOU!

with some pictures / icons of hearts, birds, or other shit on it. Now, either that guy is gay or about 8 years old. And you are dumb enough to think "choooo chweet"?? Crap!
Girls, dont fall for such search-google-copy-paste stuff. There are a lot of dumbass morons out there on orkut.

On the whole, Orkut is *the* place to find some really stupid people.

Funny videos! Must watch

So I was searching for some fun stuff on youtube and wanted to see something telugu. And look what I found ! This might be old for most of you, but amazing stuff.

I hate spam!

So i get up and see this junk email in my inbox about chiruforpeople. I didnt even ask for this shit!
So, if you want to see a gathering of morons, from students to doctors and other professionals, go here tomorrow : George C. Marshall High School, 7731 Leesburgh Pike, Falls Church, VA 22043. You will have some sarcastic fun! You will see a bunch of loosers, who ran away from their home state, sit and discuss who has to be come the next CM. Craptastic!

Dasavatharam

Movie wise: [0.05/5]
Songs : [0.33/5] Are there songs ? I thought there was 'a' song.
Value for money: disastrous.
Movie length : 8-10Hours { I think it was 2 movies..oh wait it was 10}
Overall : BioHazard

Before the review, here is an interview with Kamal Haasan.

Sendai:
What is your next movie ?
Kamal :
My next movie is a soft porn flick where I play the guy and the girl in bed. We have tried to make this movie as real as possible.
Sendai:
..err 'as real as possible' ? Are you going to show... {interrupted}
Kamal :
Yes.
Sendai:
That is 'real' scary. Anyway, Is there a story?
Kamal :
Yes. It is about a guy who understands the meaning of life after he goes to bed with this girl who was a guy before he got operated.
Sendai:
Is there a story?
Kamal :
It is about life and ..{interrupted}
Sendai:
Thanks for the interview.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

First things first - dont watch this movie. No, really!

Why would someone want to do 10 different roles? What was he trying to do? Save money? By investing 140 Crores? ( I think this whole production was a scam.. the movie probably took less than 2 crores to make - because there is Kamal everywhere).

The cardinal thing when you play 10 different characters, who look different, is makeup. But, in this movie, makeup is outright BAD.
Because, apart from playing the 10 characters, Kamal also:

1. Did makeup
2. Wrote Songs
3. Directed the stunts
4. Did the music
5. Wrote the story
6. Screenplay
7. Directed the movie
8. Had a child whose mother is himself
9. Had a failed brain transplant from a goat.

But, he did'nt watch the movie!
I thought 10 years after Bharateeyudu (Indian), makeup would have improved. But Kamal used the same stone-age makeup. (Again, trying to save money). The villan's makeup is the crappiest of them all. Oh btw, the villan is basically T-101 from Terminator 2, who is also does all the bike stunts like the T1000. Anyway, relief finally came when I realized that the heroine was not Kamal. But wait - worse things happened. Mallika Sherawat. What can be more ugly than Mallika Sherawat? That too with clothes!

Negatives : bad CGI, bad casting, bad story, and :
bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup, bad makeup. (that is 10 times, including the real kamal w/o makeup)
Positives : patient audience waiting in hope..

this movie should be used in 'stress tests' by a cardiologist (or/& psychiatrist). He can replace the tread mill with a big screen playing Dasavatharam. However, I do know of a state where this movie will be a big hit..

Gasoline Prices from 1918 to 2008

Hyperabad

Hyperabad : A Slideshow


Hyderabad International Airport : Like Mag wheels for a scooter
Same service, same speed, with 2 new gates, now in a new, far and more expensive package.


Shop, Eat and celebrate : What else can you do when you have no taste?

Heroines

There was a leak in Tollywood earlier this week and the code they use for the heroine is out!
Here it is:

import bad_taste.*
import real_fucked_up_casting.*
import pani_manishi.*
import cool_names.*
import lots_of_make_up.*

void heroine(loads_of SHIT)
{
while(1)
{
pani_manishi.use();
pani_manishi.apply_loads_of_makeup();
pani_manishi.apply_cool_name(seed nonsence);
pani_manishi.apply_little_clothes();
}

if (pani_manishi.open_mouth())
{
//this is bad shit, because if she opens mouth, it is unbelievable language
pani_manishi.apply_dubbing();
}
}

Please use this code at your own risk.

South Indian Police Movies

This is it. I can not take any of this shit anymore. I had a hard time trying to consider the way police officers are presented in Gharshana. Then it went to TV serials and now every police character. CRAP! It is so stupid - these guys who make movies DO NOT have access to NORMAL people. Hence, they obviously have no access to REAL officers / people.
Guys, if you are making a cop movie and need some help, go to the right people. Else, go see a veterinary doctor. Fcuk!









Anyway, here is a list of things cops are NOT / DONT do:
1. They do not wear tight shirts. (WTF!)
2. They do not carry the stick/hat with them, unless they are going to see their superiors ON a specific occasion. So if it was a daily routine and the officer has to goto his boss, he would wear casuals.
3. They do not carry 2x weapons. Infact, they dont carry weapons most of the time. (I'll come back to this)
4. Only in the first few months, they would be close to reality. After that, they get lost in the awe of hierarchy and grow big bellies.
5. Most of the beating is done by the CI/SI/Constables.
6. For those of you who have no clue, KNOW THE HIERARCHY FIRST.

There is a big list i can go on typing here, but i am amazed at the crap i get to see on screen. So, please, stop shitting around and put all the money to making a good movie.

AUDIENCE: Most of what you see on screen in regard to police or any other office/r is exaggerated or simply put, false. The guys who make these movies have no idea how a real offier's life is.

And yes, I have the authority to comment. I know more than them and maybe you too.

Fuck Jeevi

Jeevi is a gay bastard. Jeevi is a moron. Jeevi is ...Jeevi!

This guy is incredibly funny. No, really. I wrote about this guy sometime back. That post shows in close detail how he goes about writing a review. So again, here is another analysis post.

Last time i said that he knows a lot of trivia. I beg to differ. Even his trivia is screwed up. If you read his review about A history ofviolence [here], you will see this :
"..This film reminded me of the Telugu film Samarasimha Reddy..".
He could not find any other movie that he could compare to. He even had a choice of Basha, but no - he had to pick this one.

Okay, lets move on. He gives 'In pursuit of Happiness' an entertainment quotient of 30%. Ok, now I am confused. What exactly is 'Entertainment Quotient' ? So this guy, Jeevi, is not only gay but also a dumbass.

Lets see.. what else do we have..oh yeah - 300. Lets check this out :

The story of the film is about how Spartans fought to defend their freedom and democracy by using their territorial knowledge as the strength and employing various fighting strategies

Muhahahahahaaa. This guy is funny, is he not?

Ok, next is Apocalypto :

Just like any commercial film, this film too has protagonist running for days continuously, to escape from merchant, even while suffering from severe wounds.

Now what do i tell you about this? He does not have an issue when a "Fat" Telugu 'hero' runs around with 2 bullets in his ass for half of the movie. But he has issues here. No issues if another "Short" & "Fat" 'hero' fights with a 100 people (like in the matrix). But he has issues here.
Ok some more from the same review :

I don’t care about Mel Gibson’s anti-Semitic statements and the complaints about excessive violence.

Thats because he does not know what the anti-semitic means ! DUMBASS JEEVI! And compare the violence part of it with his review for 300 where he says:

The quotient of violence is pretty high

A reviewer having different opinions about the same thing. Hmm...interesting.

Lets see - what else do we have - man i like doing this. Check this out from 'The Butterfly Effect'. He did not understand the movie. (the entertainment quotient of 10% explains that).
But check this out from his review :

It is a dark film. Hence the entertainment quotient is almost zero.

Ooh okay, so thats what 'entertainment quotient' is..now i get it.
So guys,

if dark:
'entertainment quotient' = low
if bright:
'entertainment quotient' = high

So now we get it! I have no words for Jeevi.

Ok, next lets see how little Jeevi reacts to Sex. Here is a snip from 'A History of Violence':

There are a couple of sex scenes in the film. The second one is totally irrelevant.

OMG! Jeevi IS gay!
Again, Mr.Hypocrite think that was irrelevant. Fine. Please explain how relevant are various Soft-porn scenes in regular Telugu feature films. Its ok to see some actress with little or no clothes in a 'Family Entertainer' but a Sex scene in an English movie is irrelevant. CRAPTASTIC!.
So now you understand why I say Jeevi is gay? Cos he does not like Sex scenes!

Why do I do this? Here's why -
Jeevi, with some more effort, you will be just right to review some telugu movies. Not all movies. I can go on writing like this, but I dont want to waste my time. I already spent 5 minutes on this. But thats ok, cos I am in my bathroom...

Cheers!

A List of movie sites online

http://requestacinema.blogspot.com/
http://cinetalkies.blogspot.com/
http://idlemovies.blogspot.com/
http://www.songs-links.blogspot.com/
http://www.manacinemalu.com/